Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of Be Your Best Horsemanship. I’m coming to you from our training facility here in Weatherford, Oklahoma. My interns, Millie and Natalie, are saddling horses and getting things ready for the day.

Each of them has a list of horses they start on every day. They work through as many as they can, and whatever they don’t get to, they start on the next day.

There’s no pressure to ride everything on the list. What matters is quality time on the horses we do ride. And, that actually ties into what I want to talk about today: managing perfectionism as a trainer.

The Good and the Bad of Perfectionism

A lot of us in the horse world have perfectionistic tendencies.

That drive to do things right, to improve, to compete, and to push ourselves is often what leads to high performance. It’s what pushes us to keep learning and getting better.

But if we’re not careful, that same drive can become a roadblock to our horses’ progress.

I had a really good conversation with Millie about this the other day. She’s the type of person who wants things to be perfect. She works hard, she cares, and she wants to do a great job.

Those are all great qualities. But the reality is this:

Three- and four-year-old horses aren’t going to be perfect.

They haven’t seen enough sunrises yet. And truthfully, none of us have seen enough sunrises to be perfect either.

Progress Is What Creates Confidence

One of the questions that came up this week was:

How do you know if you’re progressing?

For me, that starts with evaluating each horse every day. At the beginning of a ride, I’m asking myself:

Where is this horse strong?
Where is this horse weak?
Why are they weak there?

If a horse is stiff in the rib cage, rooting into the bridle, or going into turns on their front end, that points directly back to me. That doesn’t mean I beat myself up over it. It means I adjust what I’m doing and work toward a better result. And sometimes that better result is just a little bit better than yesterday.

Because when you make progress, the horse begins to understand. And when the horse understands what you’re asking, that creates confidence. The opposite of confidence is anxiety. A horse can’t be confident and anxious at the same time. So if we push for perfection too quickly, we often create insecurity instead of confidence.

Don’t Rush the Release

Another place perfectionism can creep in is when we rush through a ride trying to accomplish too much. I’ve been guilty of that myself. When we rush, we miss the most important part of the learning process: the release.

The horse has to recognize and enjoy the release in order to understand what we were asking. Sometimes that means sitting there for 20 or 30 seconds and letting the horse absorb the moment. If you do that 30 or 40 times in a session, that adds up to some time — but you’re either going to take that time on the front end, or you’re going to pay for it later.

A lot of the training issues we see are man-made problems, and many of them come from rushing instead of allowing the horse to truly understand the release.

Clear Signals, Not Perfect Riding

Another misconception tied to perfectionism is the idea that soft hands alone create soft horses.

I always say this:

Soft hands don’t make soft horses. Clear signals make soft horses.

Your horse has to understand the signal. If your cues are unclear—even if they’re soft—the horse can’t respond correctly. And when that happens, we end up frustrated because the horse isn’t doing what we expect.

That’s not a horse problem. That’s a communication problem. And communication always starts with the rider.

Don’t Get Greedy

Perfectionism can also show up when we have a great moment with a horse and try to push for one more.

You know how that goes. You make a great run on a rope horse. Everything clicks. The horse does exactly what you asked. And instead of rewarding that moment and stepping off, we think:

Let’s do it one more time.

I say it all the time when we’re practicing: “Don’t get greedy.”

If the horse tries hard and gives you exactly what you asked for, sometimes the best training decision is to quit right there. Let them walk out of the arena confident. Because confidence is what builds the next step in their development.

Break the Process Into Steps

Another way to manage perfectionism is by breaking training into smaller steps.

For example, the other day I had Millie working a couple young colts in our return lane with calves. Instead of roping, she just positioned the horse like she was going to rope, let the horse rate, hold that position for a stride or two, and then melt into a stop. That exercise allows for lots of repetitions where the horse can feel the signal from the rider’s body.

If we wait until a full-speed run to expect a green horse to recognize that signal, we’re setting them up to struggle. Breaking training into steps helps the horse learn faster and keeps us from expecting perfection too soon.

Have a Plan

Perfectionism often comes from focusing too much on the outcome instead of the process.

That’s why having a plan is so important. Goals help you build your plan, whether that’s training horses, competing, or developing a program. Consistency in your plan builds confidence in your horse.

Inconsistency creates insecurity. And when we feel insecure, we tend to abandon our program and start chasing quick fixes.

Focus on Quality Time

A lot of people listening to this podcast have careers, families, and other responsibilities outside of horses...

You might only have time to ride one horse tonight. That’s OK. Do a great job with that one horse.

Short, focused sessions with quality communication are far more productive than rushing through several horses trying to accomplish too much. Even in my own program, I’m constantly reminding myself of that. Quality over quantity.

The Recipe for Progress

At the end of the day, managing perfectionism comes down to remembering what actually creates progress.

Progress comes from:

Clear communication
Patience with the release
Knowing when to quit
Breaking training into steps
And staying consistent with your plan

Perfection isn’t something we chase directly. It’s something that develops over time through consistent progress. And when we keep that mindset, both we and our horses continue to improve.

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