You've probably heard the phrase, "Soft hands create soft horses."

I understand the idea behind it. None of us want to be heavy-handed or constantly pulling on our horses. But over the years, I've come to look at softness a little differently.

Soft hands don't necessarily create soft horses. Clear signals create soft horses.

If we're so focused on being soft that our horse can't recognize what we're asking, we're not helping them. We're creating confusion. And when a horse is confused, it's pretty hard for them to become confident in the answer.

The goal isn't simply to use less pressure. The goal is to communicate clearly enough that your horse can recognize the signal, search for the right response, and find the release.

Your Horse Has to Be Able to Read the Signal

Any time we ask a horse to do something, we're giving them a signal.

That might come through a bridle rein, our leg, our seat, or a combination of cues. Whatever we're asking, the horse has to learn what that signal means.

That's where feel becomes so important.

Good feel isn't about seeing how little you can do. It's about becoming more aware of how you're asking, what response your horse is giving you, and when to release.

The clearer your signal becomes, the easier it is for your horse to recognize what you're asking and start looking for the answer.

Sometimes that means we need to slow down and give the horse time to process the signal instead of immediately changing what we're doing or adding more pressure.

If I'm inconsistent with my signal, my horse has to guess.

If I'm clear and consistent, I give him a chance to think.

Using the Release to Your Advantage

Years ago, I read something from Martin Black in a Western Horseman article that changed the way I thought about horsemanship: the release is what you teach.

That idea has stuck with me ever since. We spend a lot of time talking about pressure in horse training, but the release is what gives that pressure meaning.

When I ask my horse for a response, I'm looking for the moment he starts to find the answer. When I release at the right time, I'm telling him, Yes. That's what I was looking for.

That's how understanding starts to develop.

Over time, the horse begins recognizing the signal sooner because he understands where the release point is. Instead of waiting for us to make him do something, he starts searching for the answer himself.

Clear Signals Create Better Habits

When I begin taking the slack out of my bridle reins, I want my horse to recognize that signal and start getting behind the bridle. Eventually, I want that response to become a habit.

But a horse doesn't develop that habit because I pull harder. And he doesn't develop it because I try to be so soft that he can't tell what I'm asking. He develops it through a clear, consistent signal followed by a release when he finds the correct response.

Do that consistently enough and eventually you don't need as much. That's the softness we're looking for.

Train Both Sides of the Horse

Another place where clarity becomes important is recognizing that a horse may not understand the same signal equally on both sides of the body.

We tend to think, “my horse knows how to do this.” But does he know how to do it equally well to the right and the left?

Most of us aren't perfectly equal on both sides either. I'm naturally more comfortable with certain movements to the left because I've spent years riding and roping with a rope in my right hand.

So when I work to the right, I have to pay more attention to staying consistent. I have to give my horse time to feel the signal and search for the release point instead of assuming he should already know the answer.

Just because you've established a signal on one side doesn't mean you've automatically established the same understanding on the other.

If one direction is harder, don't immediately assume your horse is being resistant.

Go back and look at your signal.

Is it clear? Is it consistent? Are you giving the horse enough time to recognize it? And are you releasing when he starts to find the answer?

Better Feel Makes Training More Efficient

When I was younger, I thought getting better meant working harder.

And don't get me wrong, there is no substitute for putting in the work. I've learned a tremendous amount by doing things wrong, staying hooked, and figuring out a better way.

But experience should make us more efficient.

Today, I can get more done with less work because I'm more aware of what I'm asking and why I'm asking it. I've eliminated a lot of unnecessary steps that used to make things harder for both me and the horse.

That's one of the biggest things I want younger trainers to understand.

Hard work matters. But the goal isn't to see how much work you can endure. The goal is to keep improving your feel so you can make the right thing easier for your horse to understand.

The better your timing becomes, the clearer your signals become.

The clearer your signals become, the quicker your horse can find the answer.

And the quicker your horse can find the answer, the less pressure you need in the first place.

Softness Comes From Understanding

At the end of the day, I don't want a horse that's soft simply because I'm trying to use soft hands.

I want a horse that recognizes my signals, thinks through what I'm asking, and confidently searches for the right response.

That's a different kind of softness. It's built through clear communication, good timing, consistent release points, and a willingness on our part to keep improving our feel.

Horsemanship is a process. There's no point where we get to say we've mastered all of this and move on. Every horse gives us another opportunity to become a little clearer, a little more consistent, and a little more aware of what we're communicating.

So the next time you're trying to get a softer response from your horse, don't just ask yourself whether your hands are soft enough. Ask yourself whether your signal is clear enough for your horse to understand.