Ep 356: Finding Joy in the Process
This has been a long, hot, dry summer here in Oklahoma. We've had more triple-digit days than I can count, and when you're working horses every day in those conditions, it can start to wear on everybody.
We've adjusted our schedule, started earlier, shortened some days, and tried to be smarter about how much we're asking from our horses. But, I've also been reminded lately that we have a choice in how much we let our circumstances affect the way we feel about the work we're doing.
It's easy to say, I'll enjoy this more when the weather cools off. When this horse gets further along. When I win something. When the business reaches the next level.
There's always going to be another "when."
At some point, we have to learn to find the joy in what we're getting to do right now.
Don't Let a Temporary Situation Steal Your Joy
One of the biggest lessons I've learned this summer is that sometimes you have to adjust.
Years ago, I probably would have gritted my teeth and kept pushing through the heat. Now, I'm much more aware of what those conditions are doing to me, the people working with me, and especially the horses.
We had a horse deal with a compaction recently, and thankfully our vet was able to get him turned around. Looking back, I think that horse probably needed more breaks than we were giving him. He was training really well, and when things are going good, human nature has a way of making us want more.
But more isn't always better. The heat takes a toll. If you push yourself and your horses until everybody is burned out and miserable, eventually you're not doing very good work anyway.
So we've adapted. That doesn't make the weather any cooler, but it changes how we respond to it.
And that's what got me thinking about something we talked about in a group I'm part of recently: the difference between happiness and joy.
Happiness is important, but joy is something deeper.
The weather can make you unhappy. A bad run can make you unhappy. Something can go wrong in your business, your relationships, or your training program and make you unhappy.
But those temporary circumstances don't have to take your joy with them.
Joy Is a Choice We Make
A friend of mine, J.R. Vezain, was part of that conversation.
J.R. qualified for the NFR as a bareback rider the same year an injury left him paralyzed. He's dealt with challenges most of us can't imagine, and one of the things he talked about was having to make the choice to find something to be grateful for.
That stuck with me. Because I think we all fall into the trap of attaching our happiness to the next outcome.
Once I accomplish this, I'll be happy.
Once I win that, I'll be happy.
Once I get the horse where I want him, I'll be happy.
And then you get there, and it feels good for a little while. But before long, you're looking for the next thing.
Joy is different.
For me, it comes back to gratitude and recognizing what I already get to do every day.
Comparison Will Take the Enjoyment Out of the Process
This applies just as much to our horsemanship as anything else.
It's easy to look around and feel like everybody else is further ahead.
Someone else's business is growing faster. Someone else is winning more. Their horse is progressing faster. They're reaching goals you haven't reached yet.
If you're not careful, you'll spend so much time measuring your life against somebody else's that you'll completely miss what's good about your own.
I've had to remind myself of that plenty.
Stay the course. Take care of your business. Let the rest take care of itself.
The same thing applies when we're competing.
Before Bridget left for a barrel race recently, we talked about simply going and enjoying the opportunity.
We're competitive people. Of course we want to do well. But when you start believing that you have to win, run a certain time, or accomplish a particular result for the day to be worthwhile, you're putting an awful lot of your joy into something you can't completely control.
We're doing things where we're only going to succeed a percentage of the time. A bad run doesn't make you a failure. A stretch where you aren't winning doesn't make you a failure. Trying something and having it not work doesn't make you a failure. That's life. And you're still better off having gone through it than never having tried at all.
Learn to Appreciate Where You Are
This summer is actually a pretty good example. If I wanted to focus on the negative, I wouldn't have to look very hard. It's hot. It's dry. The days start early. We've had to change plans because of the weather. But we've also had one of the most consistent summers of practice we've ever had.
Wade and I have been able to rope three or four mornings most weeks. Our horses are working well. We've got several young horses reaching the point where they're ready to advance into their disciplines.
There's a lot to be grateful for.
The circumstances didn't have to change for me to recognize that. My perspective did. I think that's something worth remembering with our horses, too. Sometimes we're so focused on where we want a horse to be that we don't appreciate where they are.
Don't Rush Past the Part That Builds the Horse
When I start a colt, I'm generally looking at 18 to 24 months before I feel like that horse is legitimately ready to advance very far into a specific discipline.
You can introduce pieces of the job sooner, but mentally, a lot of young horses aren't ready for much pressure yet.
Could you push them faster? Sure.
Some people do, and sometimes it works.
But I've learned that, for me, there's a lot of value in giving those horses time.
When you've spent a year or two developing the foundation, teaching a horse to listen for your signals, search for the release, and control the reacting side of their brain, you've built something you can move forward with.
That's part of enjoying the process, too.
If the only part of training you value is the finished product, you're going to miss a whole lot of good days along the way.
There's satisfaction in feeling a young horse understand something today that they didn't understand yesterday.
There's value in the ride that doesn't look impressive to anybody else but makes that horse a little more confident.
There's progress in the little things.
And sometimes those little things need more time than we'd like to give them.
Preparation Gives Us Room to Enjoy the Ride
Enjoying the process doesn't mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect.
I have young horses I don't trust 100 percent.
Honestly, when you're dealing with young horses, I'm not sure I'd recommend trusting any of them 100 percent.
That's why preparation matters.
If I know a horse tends to get tight or reactive, I can spend a few minutes preparing them before I step on. I can work on getting them back to the thinking side of their brain instead of the reacting side.
A little preparation can prevent a whole lot of trouble later.
That's not fear. That's horsemanship.
We can appreciate where a horse is while still recognizing what needs work. We can enjoy the process while still wanting to get better.
Those things aren't opposites.
The Process Isn't Supposed to Be Perfect
One of the projects I'm excited about is documenting the first 60 days of training on a colt for our upcoming online program.
And I want to show all of it.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
If something goes wrong, I don't want to edit it out just because it doesn't make me look good.
Because that's training.
We see so many finished results today. We see the great run, the broke horse, the win, or the highlight reel.
What we don't always see are all the ordinary days—and all the mistakes—that it took to get there.
I think there's tremendous value in that part.
The process isn't always pretty. It doesn't always happen on our timeline. Some days are frustrating. Some seasons are harder than others.
But that doesn't mean we have to wait for everything to go right before we enjoy what we're doing.
Find the Joy in What You Get to Do Today
Most mornings, I get up early, grab a cup of coffee, and spend a little time sitting quietly before the day gets started.
I've got a digital picture frame nearby with pictures of my family on it. My wife, our kids, their spouses, our grandkids.
And when I look at that, it's pretty hard not to think I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world.
Do I always remember that?
No.
I get caught up in what I need to accomplish next just like everybody else.
But that's exactly why I think we have to remind ourselves.
There will always be another goal.
There will always be another horse to train, another competition to prepare for, another level we'd like to reach, and another problem we'd like to solve.
Keep working toward those things.
But don't get so focused on what's next that you miss what's good about where you are right now.
Work hard. Keep improving. Adjust when you need to. Give your horses the time they need.
And while you're doing all of that, remember to enjoy the opportunity you've been given to do it.
Today and every day, let's be our best.
