Ep 154: A Word of Encouragement for Days When You Feel Like “It’s Not Worth It”
Have you ever had a day where you told yourself, "this just isn't worth it?"
In the early years of my training career, I had this conversation with myself almost daily. Each day was a constant struggle filled with challenges that made me question my abilities, and quite frankly, the entire trajectory of my career. I struggled to make things work financially. I struggled to get horses to perform the way I needed them to. I struggled to find more horses to ride. I’d love to say there was one magical day when that all changed, but that’s not how it happened. It was a series of decisions to keep going that finally got me to a point where I felt comfortable and confident in my abilities as a trainer.
Although I’ve gained a better perspective over the years, there were many years where I operated from a place where I was lacking confidence in myself. If there’s one thing I’ve recognized about horsemanship, it’s that your horse can sense a lack of confidence. When they don’t feel confident in you, it’s going to be very hard for you to gain confidence with them.
The way I was able to bring myself out of the rut of self doubt was reframing how I managed my expectations. Expectations can work one of two ways – they can be the thing that motivates you, or they can be the thing that keeps you stuck. It’s all about how you look at them. For some of us, having high expectations is what motivates us to continue forward in the midst of trials. For others, not meeting expectations can be the thing that hinders our progress and limits our confidence moving forward. For me, I’ve experienced both.
As someone who has high expectations, it can be incredibly difficult to remain optimistic when I am not meeting the expectations I have set forth for myself. When I get into a mood where I am doubting myself, I have to go back and consider, “has my effort matched my expectations?” Sometimes, your effort has nothing to do with the actual effort you put forth toward a task; instead, it has everything to do with the time you have available to put forth that effort.
As I travel the country working with different trainers, we all seem to have the same issue – not enough time. With all of the commitments we have in life, it is impossible to devote 100% of our time, energy, and effort in multiple directions. We only have 100% to give; so, we have to keep that in mind when we are managing our expectations for where we “should be” and where we can realistically be given the time and resources we have to put toward a specific goal.
When you're in the middle of a challenging season, whether that is training horses or just life in general, it can be hard to see past the frustrations and manage the expectations of where you “should be” by now. Keep in mind that 1% growth each day is better than nothing at all. Focus on your 1%, and keep grinding.
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