Ep 124: Overcoming Self Doubt and Guilt as a Trainer
Self doubt is something that I believe we all struggle with from time to time. Whether you are training horses professionally or personally, there will be times when you feel challenged. When these challenges arise, it can be easy to slip into a mindset where you doubt your skills and feel unqualified to be the one responsible for progressing your horse’s training. You may go through times of insecurity when you wonder…
Am I going to make it?
Do I really know what I’m doing?
Do I even deserve to get paid for riding someone else’s horse?
Am I capable of helping my horse reach its full potential?
The answer to all three questions is: yes.
The first question, “am I going to make it as a trainer,” is something I have asked myself many times in the early days of my professional training career. I’ll be the first to admit that there were days when I sent a set of horses home, and I was unsure if there would be any new horses to take their place the following month. In my 30+ years of marriage, I don’t know that there has been a single month where my wife, Bridget, and I knew exactly what our monthly income would be. And for some (myself included), this financial stress can be very taxing on your self-worth.
I think a lot of the financial stress around entrepreneurship and horse training stems from the fact that we grow up in a world that suggests you’re not supposed to be able to make a living doing what you love. There’s a certain perception that says if you are going to have a lot of money and live comfortably, you will probably be in a career path that you dislike. I believe that is 100% false.
I’ve been blessed to make a decent living while I pursue my passion for horsemanship; however, that doesn’t mean that there haven’t been months where we were living paycheck to paycheck. In the later years of my career, I have become a better businessman and have learned how to manage my finances a little better, but the money is a very small part in the bigger picture of why I wake up every morning feeling excited to go to the barn. The reason I love my career in training horses is because I truly feel fulfilled in my work. And, this sense of fulfillment leads me into the next question, “do I even know what I’m doing?”
When you are in a position to train horses for the public, timelines are one of the biggest challenges you will encounter. Each horse owner has an expectation of their horse’s potential and how quickly they can tap into this potential. More often than not, these expectations are somewhat unrealistic. When you face the pressure of outside expectations and tight timelines, it can take a toll on your sense of self-worth. If you feel that you are not meeting the expectations imposed on you by others, it can be very difficult to maintain your confidence. It can make you question whether or not you have the skills to help a horse reach its full potential.
The way I have overcome this limiting belief is by reminding myself that there are no guarantees in the world of horsemanship. I can never guarantee that a horse will go home mastering the exact skillset I had in mind. The only guarantee I can provide is that I am going to work as hard as I can to do the best job that I can.
Another feeling that has come up often for me over the years is feeling guilty for prioritizing my training career. There have been many late nights and long weekends spent working horses when I might have rather been spending time with family. When I am traveling across the country for clinics 30+ weekends a year, there are times when I wish I could be in two places at once. However, this career path is one that requires seasons of sacrifice.
To make it in the horse training business, there will be times when you have to sacrifice one opportunity for another. When you are just starting out, the season of sacrifice may seem endless. However, I am a firm believer that if you consistently put in the work, you will reap the rewards–even if it’s not on the exact timeline you had in mind.
If any of these thoughts resonate with you and where you are at in your training career, I want to encourage you to keep after it. Give yourself credit for how far you have come, and have excitement about how much further you are yet to go.
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