Ep 224: Comparison is the Thief of Joy
In this episode, I'm breaking down a recent philosophy I heard from John Maxwell: "Comparison is the thief of joy." Tune into this episode to hear my thoughts on how this applies to the horsemanship industry and what trainers can do to avoid falling into the comparison trap.
Comparison and Distorted Focus
At various points throughout my life and career, I have fallen victim to the comparison trap. Especially when I was early in my training career, I constantly looked to others for examples and validation that I was doing the “right thing.” Instead of appreciating my own experiences and how they shaped my approach to training, I was constantly comparing myself to what others were doing. When I became fixated on others, my focus became distorted. I lost sight of the gratitude I had for my own accomplishments, and I had a hard time feeling like I was “enough” compared to others.
Always in Second
There’s a common experience that is shared by many individuals in competitive fields, and that is the notion that “everyone else is ahead.” While this feeling can be motivating, it can also be toxic. This feeling can push us to work hard, but it can also push us to work ourselves into the ground. This relentless pursuit of trying to be number one, while commendable, can lead to a state of constant hustle, rushed routines, and ultimately, dissatisfaction with one’s progress. Sometimes, when you feel behind, you need to slow down–not speed up. You have to give yourself (and your horse) time to think.
Run Your Race
In reality, it’s not fair to yourself to compare your race to someone else’s. Every person on earth has had a slightly different hand dealt to them. Each person has their own unique gifts, skills, experiences and knowledge that have shaped the path they are on today. Why would you waste time comparing your journey to someone else’s? Those journeys never have been (and never will be) the same, so it’s really not a fair race. Run your race, and don’t worry about anyone else’s. You do you, and let everyone else do them.
Focus on One Thing at a Time
Always remember this: The horse you are training that day—there’s not another person in the world training an identical animal. You are training and communicating and providing leadership for an animal that is absolutely unique to the rest of the world. No two people and no two horses are exactly the same. Focus on the communication you have with that animal at that moment, and quit comparing yourself to another horse or another trainer. Again, it’s not—and never will be—a fair comparison.
Communicating Clearly
If I told you to train a horse, how would you approach it? You would probably have a set idea of the cues you are going to send, the exercises you are going to practice, and the routine you are going to establish with that animal. Now, what if I told you to train a horse that was blind and deaf? Would that change your approach? Do you think the horse would be able to clearly understand the system you had previously established? This idea relates back to the importance of not rushing through your training routine. Take it slow. Give your horse time to think and process the cues you are asking for. And, give yourself the time and space to go through your process correctly.
